Are You Secretly Judging Me: How Can I Help?


I have a secret.  I have known that I have carried this secret around for a long time.  I have thought time and time again, that I had let it go.  I think many of us hide this same secret.  I just feel the need to say it out loud.  I am not perfect.  You are not perfect.  My dog is not perfect.

If we were all prefect, we would probably be the same.  We would have the same opinions, live in identical houses, like the same colors, look the same, blah blah, the same.  We might be very bored by the fact that there is nothing to challenge us, because we think the same there are no new ideas.

Yet, we strive to be prefect, we beat ourselves up, because we are not perfect.  Did our parents wish we were prefect, did we pick up on that and try even harder to be perfect.  Feed the dark side, of hating ourselves because we are not?  Are we asking our dogs to be perfect?

Are all of the people around me, judging me and my reactive dog…because we are not perfect?  I have actually said out loud to family and friends, I would never act like that.  Judging someone regarding their actions. “I would never!”

Only to find myself in a similar situation, years later. Guess what, I reacted the same way as the person I judged.  It has happened more than once.  When I saw the pattern and realized we have no idea until we are the same situation, how we will act.  At that moment, my goal in life became stop judging people.

Spending your time judging people takes away from your time to grow as a person.  It is an illusion, you are wasting your life.  Maybe we do it so we feel better about ourselves or we just haven’t lived these same experiences.  Regardless, how anyone reacts isn’t your business.

I am at the point where I don’t care what you think about how my dog is reacting.  I don’t care, what you think about me.  My focus is how I can help my dog feel more comfortable about the situations he is in.  My goal is to help him.  If he looks scary to you, then by all means, please move away.

What I am asking us all to do, is to stop judging each other.  If you do feel like judging, ask yourself it is possibly something you just don’t understand.  If you cannot add useful information, then please ask instead “HOW CAN I HELP!”

We are not perfect. Jedi and I are doing our best are you?  Please don’t add to our stress, by slipping in your “I never”.  It won’t help and I don’t think it is really your best effort.

The entire world needs this advice.  If you are in a situation you are ignorant about, just ask how you can help.  Please, stop judging everyone else.  No one is perfect, what can you do about it.  Here is the answer, ask how you can help.

In the photo above, I had asked both of my dogs to stay.  It was going to be the perfect photo.  Just as I took the photo, Jedi thought that would make one boring picture…I think he was right.


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